Note: This series was inspired by my recent ALS diagnosis. See Part 1 intro.
While this post is only a glimpse about my life growing up with my brothers, sisters, schooling, and marriage its also written with the intent for my children to know a bit about myself and my love for my siblings and parents in my life. Its just a few things that have come to mind but I know I may record more elsewhere. It's a condensed version of my upbringing.
I grew up in Holladay Utah since I was 1 year old overlooking the gorgeous SLC Valley. I lived there till I was married.
My Family:
I could not have asked for a better family to be a part of. My parents are very loving people and always respected the kids and allowed them to do many creative activities. My mother has one of the kindest souls I know. She is very accepting of everyone. My father is very intelligent (as well as mother) and passed down some of those traits to us kids. Our whole family is very analytical. My father is also calm and content in his personality as I don't remember him ever yelling at us as kids or putting us in timeout. I am such a fortunate person to be raised in such a great household. They did everything they could to help us become the best people we could be and raise us up in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters (Sister->Sister->Brother->Me->Brother). I am the younger middle child. Some of them married before I was too old. I remember with my younger older sister that while she was in high school she had many jars of change. I really wanted to go to the Tilt and play arcade games. I got into her room and took half her quarters so I could go there. Or taking all the perfumes out of her drawer because I wanted to smell them. If I recall correctly I think I remember her complaining about them always disappearing. Now she knows why.
Our oldest sister always made sure the family got things done. She has been the one also that makes sures the family has updated pictures and got everyone together to have the pictures and printed off for our parents. That way we did not have 10 year old pictures hanging up. As well does a good helping the family plan activities so we all can stay connected.
Childhood:
Looking back at my life I am not sure if I was always the easiest child to raise. I was very quiet and stubborn as it could take an entire day for me to do one thing asked of me just out of spite. Because no-one can tell me what to do :D. As soon as I was told, even if i wanted to do it, I could no longer do it. Luckily after my teenage years I was able to overcome this for the most part. I remember one night in high school that my mother worried about me and some of my friends I was hanging out with so she knelt down next to my bed and prayed for me. I think she thought I was asleep.
Because the family is pretty laid back we often just enjoyed being around each other. My father traveled a lot for work and would take each kid to a place with him or a few of the siblings. We went to Hawaii where I got to see many of the sites and travel around the island including pearl harbor. I also went there later with my wife when married which was very enjoyable. We had taken a boat into the water to go whale watching. Went snorkeling in the water but being afraid of deeper water and sharks I ended early.
I also went to Washington DC and saw a lot of the sites there including the war memorial wall and the big tower. And another time went to Italy and Sardinia. In Italy I got to see the cool Roman Colosseum. It was a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be. The fighting arena was kind of bizarre too think about and having people duel in the area.
My favorite things growing up was skateboarding at the skate park and snowboarding in the winter. It was my place to escape from the world and just enjoy something I loved. I wasn't amazing at them but I was able to do some simple fun moves as well. I remember having a few falls. I did stop almost entirely after my LDS mission. Like trying to front board snowboarding down a rail and falling forward on my face knocking me out. Or going off a jump catching an edge and falling backwards landing on my back and barely being able to walk from it for days afterwards. Or Skateboarding and often falling flat on my face from not landing the move correctly. I am fortunate that the worst thing I had experience besides two bad falls snowboarding was only sprains no broken bones. Though when I was younger I did ride a bike with no shoes and caught my foot on the tire cutting the entire big toes portion on the foot off (the round part where your foot sets on the ground). Or having front wheel fall off and landing on my face with a bloody face.
My Schooling:
I went to kindergarten for part of the year. I remember not caring for it much but my mother decided to home school me. I don't remember exactly why. So that is when I learned from home, went to a few home school activities and built some things with people there. I spent a lot of time in the backyard just playing in the mud and creating water villages out of it. I often would dig giant holes in the yard looking for Gold or treasures. I remember calling my dad at work and asking him if there was gold outside.
During 6th grade I went to a private school. Mount Vernon Academy. I really liked this school a lot though sometimes for the first year I was the kid that people picked on or made fun of. I was the odd home school kid that didn't have very good social skills. By the end of the year I remember another kid coming that had some struggles, like wetting his pants at school. The teacher told us to be nice to him as not everyone was like me that could push himself into the group and get to know people. Because I was the new kid and people didn't know me. By this time I had started to make friends with some of the people which is why the teacher said that. Sometimes people will just withdrawl when not accepted immediately. I even had a funky hair cut if you look back at some of my images. Which I thought I liked at the time :D. Still my best friend growing up was someone that lived down the street from me. He was the one person that was always there for me when I didn't have a lot of friends. I was also the personality that preferred a few close friends than many that I didn't connect with well.
After 6th and 7th grade I went back to public school for 8th and 9th at Churchill Jr high. This is where my close friend went so I got to spend a lot more time with him. I didn't care for public school much but did want to keep going. But my mother decided to put me in a charter school for 10th-12th grade. It was the Academy for Math Engineering and Science (AMES) inside of cottonwood high school. They provided college classes to students so you got college credit while also getting high school credit. This helped me get a head start in my college career which I was grateful for. I made some great friends here as well. I know it's hard to see them after we have kids and a busy life.
After high school I went to the University of Utah and got my bachelors degree in Computer Science. I had always planned to be a developer but my job opportunities kept sending me into Quality Assurance which I ended up loving. So kept doing it. I always thought I may do some development at some point but things keep shifting in ways that the opportunity wasn't the right time and felt we were definitely led in a direction to bring us where we are today.
My Marriage:
While at the University of Utah I attended LDS institute. I loved going to the classes that taught about the Gospel. Sometimes I felt like maybe going to two classes so I could learn more about things. While there they also had a sorority and fraternity program in the institute so it was based in some form of spirituality.
My fraternity was called Pi (like 3.14...). I really enjoyed going there and all the activities they did were a lot of fun. One of the activities was with a sorority where we played capture the flag. It was during this one where I first met my wife. She got put in jail after I also got caught and put in jail. I remember liking her and wanting to talk to her but was a little shy. We chatted for a little while while swinging.
My fraternity friend contacted them and we setup a get together to go bowling. She tried to talk to me there, she said she thought she told me she had liked me but I don't recall it. After we went hiking up to the Big U on the mountain behind the U of U. Her friend did come up to me this time and asked me if I liked her. And told me she had been divorced but that she liked me. I wasn't sure how serious they were at this time. She pried into me to see my interest level as well. So after seeing Amanda go to the U on the hill I decided to follow her up there with her and we chatted a little bit.
We went on one more event to a haunted mansion. I do remember after this event having my frat brother telling me she really did like me. And that is when we started texting as he just gave me her info. Than during finals week, on my birthday she said we needed to go on a date. I didn't want to, due to stress of finals and engineering is not an easy time for finals. Asked to do a different day but she pushed me to go which I'm glad. She drove from west valley, 30 mins, to the institute building where she met me. I had fallen asleep in a chair in the building. Luckily she must of liked me enough to try to find me when I didn't pick up the phone and she woke me up :).
From than on out we dated or hanged out for a few months than started dating. Finally I proposed after 2 years and we got married and had 3 beautiful boys. One time I was at a friends house and I was talking with him. He asked me if I liked her. I said I like hanging out with her. I don't like to commit to things till I'm 100% sure it can and will happen. That's also why I usually don't decide on doing anything till a day or two before. Never know what could come up. Than he instantly said, uh oh your going to get married as you usually don't care for any girl that you actually like hanging out with in a relationship type of way (not friendship). I felt he might be right but didn't know what the future held at that time.
The 3 brothers played a lot together growing up but I also remember bothering my older brother when he was with some of his friends so they had to lock me out of the room as I would not leave them alone like brothers do. Or making giant forts especially with the twin bunk beds. We had sheets covering the entire room and would sleep in the forts overnight. It was one of the most common activities I remember growing up. Other times we did it with couch cushions.
I remember with some siblings grabbing twin beds and laying them on the stairs so that we could slide down and have a cool slide. Or building a tree-house in the backyard. I don't remember who was involved in that but also built a kitchen and loved playing pretend in it. Probably one of my favorite activities was building things or taking them apart so I never could get them together again.
We got along well. Rarely fought or at least from what I remember. The older three got married and went on with their lives. My younger brother and I probably got more spoiled because they were more financially well off by this point and with the older kids gone my mother liked to splurge a bit more on us. Where for the older two sisters, I've heard them say they didn't get a whole lot like we had.
I might of been pretty quiet growing up, and still am, but I still enjoyed the great family I had. I have always been the person to just enjoy others company by my presence not always by being a chatter box which I've never been except with my wife. I probably open up with her more than anyone. Its what makes our marriage so great. I can tell her anything.
I might of been pretty quiet growing up, and still am, but I still enjoyed the great family I had. I have always been the person to just enjoy others company by my presence not always by being a chatter box which I've never been except with my wife. I probably open up with her more than anyone. Its what makes our marriage so great. I can tell her anything.
Childhood:
Looking back at my life I am not sure if I was always the easiest child to raise. I was very quiet and stubborn as it could take an entire day for me to do one thing asked of me just out of spite. Because no-one can tell me what to do :D. As soon as I was told, even if i wanted to do it, I could no longer do it. Luckily after my teenage years I was able to overcome this for the most part. I remember one night in high school that my mother worried about me and some of my friends I was hanging out with so she knelt down next to my bed and prayed for me. I think she thought I was asleep.
Because the family is pretty laid back we often just enjoyed being around each other. My father traveled a lot for work and would take each kid to a place with him or a few of the siblings. We went to Hawaii where I got to see many of the sites and travel around the island including pearl harbor. I also went there later with my wife when married which was very enjoyable. We had taken a boat into the water to go whale watching. Went snorkeling in the water but being afraid of deeper water and sharks I ended early.
I also went to Washington DC and saw a lot of the sites there including the war memorial wall and the big tower. And another time went to Italy and Sardinia. In Italy I got to see the cool Roman Colosseum. It was a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be. The fighting arena was kind of bizarre too think about and having people duel in the area.
We took a boat ride, don't remember exactly where through Venice as well. Its a pretty gorgeous area and I remember wondering how that town can be in such deep water. I have a horse and carriage statue at home that I got from this area. Probably one of the best areas I have seen. I also remember driving to some "red rock" that was supposed to be really cool. And we saw it and either my father or brother was like that which we have in Utah is a lot more red.
During my high school years around age 16 I remember turning a bit more rebellious. I had a group of friends that were not religious and while my best friend, which I will always consider a deep and deer friend but lost contact with due to dating life and college after my mission, we hanged out with some people that enjoyed doing some rebellious (from cultural standards) activities. I still consider myself a good kid but I did take part occasionally in some of these activities though I often liked to avoid them. Smashing mail boxes was not my thing so I stayed home. But other times a large group of friends (like 10 people) got together and knocked out some stranger on the street that confronted them and ran away before cops found us or stealing a wake board from a boat on a random street. This was the same kid that went into Dan's and blew an air horn till the manager had to kick him out. We thought it was hilarious and stupid at the same time. Fortunately we avoided these things for the most part compared to other friends I knew which kept us out of getting in trouble. Teenagers don't always do the smartest things.
During my high school years around age 16 I remember turning a bit more rebellious. I had a group of friends that were not religious and while my best friend, which I will always consider a deep and deer friend but lost contact with due to dating life and college after my mission, we hanged out with some people that enjoyed doing some rebellious (from cultural standards) activities. I still consider myself a good kid but I did take part occasionally in some of these activities though I often liked to avoid them. Smashing mail boxes was not my thing so I stayed home. But other times a large group of friends (like 10 people) got together and knocked out some stranger on the street that confronted them and ran away before cops found us or stealing a wake board from a boat on a random street. This was the same kid that went into Dan's and blew an air horn till the manager had to kick him out. We thought it was hilarious and stupid at the same time. Fortunately we avoided these things for the most part compared to other friends I knew which kept us out of getting in trouble. Teenagers don't always do the smartest things.
I also remember before I could drive going into a car on our slanted, downhill, driveway. I didn't know what I was doing but I took the car out of park and it went down the hill and hit the garage breaking it. I know this happened 2-3 times growing up and another sibling did it too after there was alot of snow.
There are two events that affected my spiritual path which I forgot to post in my journey so I will add here. One I had a dream about Christ's second coming. Saw the sun descending knowing it was Christ I woke up in a sweat knowing I was not ready.
Second, one night a few friends went out to go 80's dancing. The place ended up being closed. They decided to go somewhere else I didn't want to go to. I tried to talk them out of it but went anyways. Well I didn't care for it but went home that night I felt the spirit of God withdrawal from me. I never realized how strong the spirit was with me till its literally gone. Guilt or torment overtook me as the book of Mormon states (NC Alma 17:4). I felt something say you have to choose what you want to do between the path you are on if you continue down this road and the one that lead me on my spiritual journey and it was these two experiences that set a desire to consider a mission though I hadn't read the book of Mormon yet which my spiritual journey post mentions.
My favorite things growing up was skateboarding at the skate park and snowboarding in the winter. It was my place to escape from the world and just enjoy something I loved. I wasn't amazing at them but I was able to do some simple fun moves as well. I remember having a few falls. I did stop almost entirely after my LDS mission. Like trying to front board snowboarding down a rail and falling forward on my face knocking me out. Or going off a jump catching an edge and falling backwards landing on my back and barely being able to walk from it for days afterwards. Or Skateboarding and often falling flat on my face from not landing the move correctly. I am fortunate that the worst thing I had experience besides two bad falls snowboarding was only sprains no broken bones. Though when I was younger I did ride a bike with no shoes and caught my foot on the tire cutting the entire big toes portion on the foot off (the round part where your foot sets on the ground). Or having front wheel fall off and landing on my face with a bloody face.
My Schooling:
I went to kindergarten for part of the year. I remember not caring for it much but my mother decided to home school me. I don't remember exactly why. So that is when I learned from home, went to a few home school activities and built some things with people there. I spent a lot of time in the backyard just playing in the mud and creating water villages out of it. I often would dig giant holes in the yard looking for Gold or treasures. I remember calling my dad at work and asking him if there was gold outside.
During 6th grade I went to a private school. Mount Vernon Academy. I really liked this school a lot though sometimes for the first year I was the kid that people picked on or made fun of. I was the odd home school kid that didn't have very good social skills. By the end of the year I remember another kid coming that had some struggles, like wetting his pants at school. The teacher told us to be nice to him as not everyone was like me that could push himself into the group and get to know people. Because I was the new kid and people didn't know me. By this time I had started to make friends with some of the people which is why the teacher said that. Sometimes people will just withdrawl when not accepted immediately. I even had a funky hair cut if you look back at some of my images. Which I thought I liked at the time :D. Still my best friend growing up was someone that lived down the street from me. He was the one person that was always there for me when I didn't have a lot of friends. I was also the personality that preferred a few close friends than many that I didn't connect with well.
After 6th and 7th grade I went back to public school for 8th and 9th at Churchill Jr high. This is where my close friend went so I got to spend a lot more time with him. I didn't care for public school much but did want to keep going. But my mother decided to put me in a charter school for 10th-12th grade. It was the Academy for Math Engineering and Science (AMES) inside of cottonwood high school. They provided college classes to students so you got college credit while also getting high school credit. This helped me get a head start in my college career which I was grateful for. I made some great friends here as well. I know it's hard to see them after we have kids and a busy life.
After high school I went to the University of Utah and got my bachelors degree in Computer Science. I had always planned to be a developer but my job opportunities kept sending me into Quality Assurance which I ended up loving. So kept doing it. I always thought I may do some development at some point but things keep shifting in ways that the opportunity wasn't the right time and felt we were definitely led in a direction to bring us where we are today.
My Marriage:
While at the University of Utah I attended LDS institute. I loved going to the classes that taught about the Gospel. Sometimes I felt like maybe going to two classes so I could learn more about things. While there they also had a sorority and fraternity program in the institute so it was based in some form of spirituality.
My fraternity was called Pi (like 3.14...). I really enjoyed going there and all the activities they did were a lot of fun. One of the activities was with a sorority where we played capture the flag. It was during this one where I first met my wife. She got put in jail after I also got caught and put in jail. I remember liking her and wanting to talk to her but was a little shy. We chatted for a little while while swinging.
My fraternity friend contacted them and we setup a get together to go bowling. She tried to talk to me there, she said she thought she told me she had liked me but I don't recall it. After we went hiking up to the Big U on the mountain behind the U of U. Her friend did come up to me this time and asked me if I liked her. And told me she had been divorced but that she liked me. I wasn't sure how serious they were at this time. She pried into me to see my interest level as well. So after seeing Amanda go to the U on the hill I decided to follow her up there with her and we chatted a little bit.
We went on one more event to a haunted mansion. I do remember after this event having my frat brother telling me she really did like me. And that is when we started texting as he just gave me her info. Than during finals week, on my birthday she said we needed to go on a date. I didn't want to, due to stress of finals and engineering is not an easy time for finals. Asked to do a different day but she pushed me to go which I'm glad. She drove from west valley, 30 mins, to the institute building where she met me. I had fallen asleep in a chair in the building. Luckily she must of liked me enough to try to find me when I didn't pick up the phone and she woke me up :).
From than on out we dated or hanged out for a few months than started dating. Finally I proposed after 2 years and we got married and had 3 beautiful boys. One time I was at a friends house and I was talking with him. He asked me if I liked her. I said I like hanging out with her. I don't like to commit to things till I'm 100% sure it can and will happen. That's also why I usually don't decide on doing anything till a day or two before. Never know what could come up. Than he instantly said, uh oh your going to get married as you usually don't care for any girl that you actually like hanging out with in a relationship type of way (not friendship). I felt he might be right but didn't know what the future held at that time.
Marriage Life:
We got married and moved into student housing at the University of Utah while I finished school. While there we, with no kids, we were in bed getting ready for bed. We both were sleeping and then I heard something that woke me up. I heard the door open and I wasn't sure if someone just came into the house and was trying to steal something. I woke my wife up and said hey I think someone's in our house as I kept hearing sounds. We waited a little longer and then I decided I had to get up. I grabbed something to defend myself and slowly walked out of our bedroom into the main room. I saw someone sleeping on the couch. I started saying something like hey what are you doing. I didn't hear a response then I realized they were sleeping at that point.
I decided I needed to wake them up to get them out of the house. First I tried to wake him up from across the room by throwing items we had around the house at him. They were like extra Keychains from our fraternity and some of them hit him on the head but he still didn't wake up. I slowly said hey man you got to get up. He still wouldn't get up so we had to grab some water and pour it on his head to wake him up. As he woke up I realized he was also drunk. So I was no longer worried but then I told him man you got to get out of the house. You can't stay here and he was like please can I just stay here for the night. I was like no man you got to leave. So I helped him out of the door because he could barely walk and he still managed to get down the stairs as he walked away from the place. I think he thought it was in a friend's house. My wife laughs at how nice I was to the man who just broke into our home.
Just around a year in Amanda had also finished and started to teach kids. We applied for a government program where they help teachers get a house at half cost. We got accepted and got a condo in South Salt Lake. This was a big help for us going forward. It really helped us have money for things, though it might have caused us not to be as frugal as we should of been. We lived at this condo for 3 years than moved to Stansbury Park for 3 years. We really enjoyed that area a lot except the mosquito's and biting gnats.
From there we moved to Tucson Arizona which is now where we reside now. We know not what the future holds at this point as we plan for a terrifying yet completely unknown future. My wife has loved being in Tucson and am grateful she convinced me to move down there. As its been a big blessing for both our lives and the kids absolutely love it. And we both have gotten to know some amazing people down here and families.
From there we moved to Tucson Arizona which is now where we reside now. We know not what the future holds at this point as we plan for a terrifying yet completely unknown future. My wife has loved being in Tucson and am grateful she convinced me to move down there. As its been a big blessing for both our lives and the kids absolutely love it. And we both have gotten to know some amazing people down here and families.
There have been a lot of ups and downs. For example, one thing on my spiritual journey I didn't mention, was that I got carried away by a "prepper spirit". Getting food storage, money, house hold items, all in the name of "end times". I wanted to be ready because Christ is coming any day now! I bought tons of food, lots of it to give away to help others. Water barrel's as well. Looking back on my journey I have realized that the spirit that I was following was a spirit of "fear". Fear drove me to do those things not God. Its a spirit we should all cast off. Its not that having small items or planning for the future is bad but it can certainly go overboard. As God gave mana to Moses people from the heavens and told not to store extras. It's a sign of lack of faith. I put my wife through a lot yet she let me do it with a good attitude. She was really always there for me even when she thought I might of been a little crazy in my adventures.
As my wife says once I start a project I like to be head deep in it till its done. So anytime I set my mind to something I often went full on out and sometimes overboard in some areas.
We also had a lot of good times. We often went to Disneyland and I got to know the ins and outs of how to never stand in line yet get on all the rides. A place that meant a lot to my wife as its been a place for her to get away from the trials of life and unwind during some of the hard times she went through before we met. Its now become a place for our family and three kids as well and good memories. Or going to the beach in California.
I was extremely happy throughout my entire marriage life. My wife will often say I'm an anchor to her. I help ground her and she does the same for me. We make each other better people. And our kids brings absolute joy into our lives. She sacrificed so much with cholestasis to bring these kids into our lives and the last one with a nickel Alergy. She went through a lot of health issues but those sacrifices gave us the greatest gift we can have in this life.
We also had a lot of good times. We often went to Disneyland and I got to know the ins and outs of how to never stand in line yet get on all the rides. A place that meant a lot to my wife as its been a place for her to get away from the trials of life and unwind during some of the hard times she went through before we met. Its now become a place for our family and three kids as well and good memories. Or going to the beach in California.
I was extremely happy throughout my entire marriage life. My wife will often say I'm an anchor to her. I help ground her and she does the same for me. We make each other better people. And our kids brings absolute joy into our lives. She sacrificed so much with cholestasis to bring these kids into our lives and the last one with a nickel Alergy. She went through a lot of health issues but those sacrifices gave us the greatest gift we can have in this life.
She loves to teach children. It's her gift and talent. She is really great at teaching kids and really cares for the kids. She wants to help them grow not out of obligation.
So now we face yet again another major life obstacle. There's been lots of crying. Lots of uncertainty about what we should do next and how to navigate it all from health issues, money going on disability, helping the kids, and keeping up with what life is going to throw at us. But it has put into focus the only things that matter to us. Our marriage, our family, our kids, our relationships.
It's funny I never thought I would be afraid of death especially with my faith but when it faces you head on things change. The unknown. Knowing the importance of this life as a time to grow and progress along the pathway of God. Its the the time given for men to repent and those who gain more light and knowledge by their heed and diligence has a greater advantage in the world to come. Nevertheless I'm confronted and forced to face these issues handing it all to God.
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