This series, since its my spiritual blog, is oriented to my faith and spiritual journey along with my love for my family. Part 1 is just my spiritual journey.
Despite what I now face I try to remind myself that Christ suffered in Gethsemane "not just the pains of sin, but also the illnesses men suffer as a result of the Fall" (TC 161). He's endured it all.
My Spiritual Journey: Introduction
This is a walk through of my spiritual journey that the Lord has guided me through. I am currently 31 years old male and married with 3 children (7 months, 3, and 5)
One thing I learned I should never assume what I know is the complete picture or the way things are. I have grown so much over my spiritual journey that I always assume that what I know may still have many incorrect ideas so I try to always remain teachable.
I have learned that while looking backwards I can now differentiate between clear inspired knowledge and excitement and sentimentality in my experiences. For instance, my sincere inquiry about the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon resulted in revelation containing light and truth. My prayers about (fill in a random prayer about self serving desires) were based in sentimentality and feelings of exclusivity.
It's possible I could learn many things that would again change the way I perceive things below. The truths don't change but viewing them with more correct lenses and understanding.
My Spiritual Journey: Childhood
I grew up with good parents who laid a foundation of belief in God. Having grown up in the LDS faith allowed one to consider the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and whether it truly testified of God or not. Despite its flaws of making the culture as pseudo forms of righteousness God used it as a means to bring people to an understanding of what it was he desired to establish in Josephs day. The members for the past 3-4 generations had sacrificed a great deal to preserve the teachings given through Joseph Smith.
It's expected in the LDS faith to serve a 2 year mission. When I was 18 I remembered thinking that if I'm truly going to teach about something I ought to determine if I really believed it or not. I thought I ought to know what it was I was going to teach. I was uncertain how I felt and a side of me was pulling me to throw it all out and go live a life in the world.
I decided to read the Book of Mormon for the first time all the way through. While reading it I remembered a voice telling me. This is what it's all about - as things started to connect in my own head of what the gospel was really about. It finally clicked, I get why people believe in the Book and I than understood it was given to us by God. My understanding had been increased as I understood things I had never considered before. Reading it once I thought I understood what it was about. I get what the gospel was all about. There can't be much more to learn!
My Spiritual Journey: Missionary
My Spiritual Journey amplified during this time. I grew to love the gospel. Not because what I was teaching others but because what I was learning. Currently missionaries are discouraged from reading anything including revelations given by Joseph unless in the "Canon" of scriptures. During my P-Days (days off) while many missionaries watched TV or other "apostate" things I was reading everything I could get my hands on by Joseph Smith. Like sitting at a buffet I could never get enough.
I learned about ideas about going to "exaltation to exaltation" from King Follett Discourse. I learned about early leaders teaching about Multiple Mortal Probation's or progression between kingdsom (Telestial-Terrestial-Celestial). While half the earlier leaders accepted progression was possible and taught it another half rejected it. I learned about the Lecture at the Veil by Brigham which incorporated some Adam-God teachings in the temple endowment until early 1900s when it was finally fully removed. Which later leaders rejected as false. Still it had ideas that sparked my interest.
Its funny how things align perfectly. Right before the next major shift happened, showing the lord is truly guiding each of our lives, a missionary came over and we liked to talk scriptures. He said look at this verse in New Testament. Paraphrasing "I only do what I see the father do". I also than came across a quote by Joseph, perhaps I'm mistaken here though, and think he said it as well. He asked me, when did Christ see what the Father had done?
This led me to an area in Rochester where I met with a stake Patriarch. This conversation I thought was normal among the people. I thought his experiences were normal. He asked me if we are too be regarded as Adam and Eve in the temple and it represents us. Than ask yourself "When does Adam die in the temple?". I pondered that for years to come. He brought up that the people who visit with you, in the temple, are the angels in heaven. They will prove us. Mentioned how some things had changed overtime in endowment but the symbols were the same. And at that point I than realized that we were all meant to "converse with the lord through the veil" - here and now as Adam never dies. That the endowment was only "preparatory" and only if we were "true and faithful" would the blessings be given. It shows a path but does not walk it for you. I came to learn this is what Joseph taught which he called the doctrine of the Second Comforter.
This led me to an area in Rochester where I met with a stake Patriarch. This conversation I thought was normal among the people. I thought his experiences were normal. He asked me if we are too be regarded as Adam and Eve in the temple and it represents us. Than ask yourself "When does Adam die in the temple?". I pondered that for years to come. He brought up that the people who visit with you, in the temple, are the angels in heaven. They will prove us. Mentioned how some things had changed overtime in endowment but the symbols were the same. And at that point I than realized that we were all meant to "converse with the lord through the veil" - here and now as Adam never dies. That the endowment was only "preparatory" and only if we were "true and faithful" would the blessings be given. It shows a path but does not walk it for you. I came to learn this is what Joseph taught which he called the doctrine of the Second Comforter.
My Spiritual Journey: Fruits
During one district meeting, a place where all missionaries get together in an area and sync on whatever it is they feel they need too. I was teaching and I had created a lesson based on a chapter in the Book of Mormon. Typically missionaries are told to use Preach My gospel. I got up and showed a pattern I noticed in 1 Nephi 1. Afterwards two senior missionaries cried and said they started wondering if it was worth going to these meeting any longer because they felt there was little benefit from them and said what they learned made it worth driving an hour for.
I was shocked to say the least but my love for the doctrine of the gospel I didn't realize how common these things were. People are starved for doctrine.
One other comment sticks out to me while I was in Rochester NY. A member mentioned he wishes he could remember all the things he had learned on his mission because once life sets in you tend to forget the scriptures. I didn't want that for myself.
Fast forward to being home. My love for the gospel grew. Like Nephi or Joseph I desired to see what it was those who came before had seen. My blog caption has the Abraham verse "finding there was greater happiness and peace and rest for me, I sought for the blessings of the fathers, and the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer the same". It's been a lifelong desire.
As an elders quorum teacher I would get up and use the scriptures to preach. I used manual only as much as to what scriptures to cover. I wanted to learn straight from the source.
In one lesson I got up and quoted some quotes by Joseph Smith. I only recall it being about the ministry of angels. Or others times things from like king Follett to expand an idea in the lesson. The responses were always the same. "we don't need to worry about that", "the people are not ready for the what Joseph was trying to teach", or "a latter president said such and such so we can ignore what it was Joseph was teaching as it's no longer applicable to us". "The Prophet will bring it back when the members are ready".
My Spiritual Journey: A Pattern: Minds are Darkened
I only share that as the pattern I had noticed but shrugged off. God will fix all things when it's time. For things are true and it's God's work. It was there in my mind but I ignored it knowing God will set all things in Order. This is a common belief among some LDS scholars as well in their books if you read some of them.
When I got off my mission I thought everyone knew this stuff and was excited about it. I talked to more people. Quickly I realized people were just not interested. They were happy with attending church and serving in their callings. Which is great as well. Service to our fellowmen is always the most important thing we can do even above learning since learning comes by heeding the commandments. So its finely intertwined.
Joseph had taught the saints were "darkened in their minds" because they were unable to accept what he was teaching. That "their dependence upon the Prophet" made it so they were unwilling to turn to God and speak with God face to face. The entire church in 1832 was put under condemnation for treating lightly the revelations. (LE D&C 84) condemnation is the absence of light and truth. It means one who will not recognize or receive that which God offers. It can also mean to fail to comprehend or simply to forget. As that "wicked one comes and takes away light and truth" (TC 93:11). All Satan is required to do is cause a people to forget.
I learned that God sent Prophets for one purpose. As Joseph said to teach the people to, like Moses, to go into the mountain and speak with God face to face. I think a better definition for prophet is a messenger. A teacher. One who teaches about God so we can lay hold upon the sane blessings.
Every person in the BOM did likewise. Like Nephi they desired to see also what his father had seen. Rose up and conversed with God face to face. Every person connected with God and it was written for us. Yet I realized, like the people in Moses day, they would rather have Moses go up on the mount and speak to God for them. Or rather no man can speak to God except the "current prophet".
And I have found that is really where the journey begins. Because those who do so. Who have struggled to obtain that faith and hope, giving them the knowledge the course they are pursuing is pleasing to God. Is just the beginning. They will in return offer "Charity" and do a "greater work". Having received both "great knowledge" and "greater knowledge" as scriptures distinguish.
My Spiritual Journey: A Growing Desire
So while there was truth to the idea of Multiple Mortal Probation's there is also a lot of falsehoods. Nevertheless that idea set me on a course.
Joseph taught “All the minds and spirits that God ever sent into the world are susceptible of enlargement. . . . God himself, finding he was in the midst of spirits and glory, because he was more intelligent, saw proper to institute laws whereby the rest could have a privilege to advance like himself. The relationship we have with God places us in a situation to advance in knowledge.” (King Follet)
I've quoted this on my blog but as Hyrum stated, "Hiram [Smith] said Aug 1st [18]43 Those of the Terrestrial Glory either advance to the Celestial or recede to the Telestial [or] else the moon could not be a type [viz. a symbol of that kingdom]. [for] it [the moon] "waxes & wanes". Also that br George will be quickened by celestial glory having been ministered to by one of that Kingdom."
So as we see progression between kingdoms is possible and that the glory we are ministered to is the glory we will obtain. Or in otherwards the relationship we have obtained to in heaven, or also called priesthood.
My Spiritual Journey: My Awakening: The Gentiles
I tell these things to show my love and passion of the Gospel. It means more to me than everything.
I've met countless people who testify of seeing Christ than claim God told them Book of Mormon and Joseph are false. Or others who claim its no longer required to seek after God's presence. It's enough to just depend upon those who have.
The test is always the same. God's preaches "in the wilderness" in a sea of error and lies to see if we can recognize the truth.
Eventually I learned about the Gentiles. Many compare them to what's happening with the government. It's true. I also learned it should be applied to me being a Gentile. The biggest benefit from scriptures is reading it in this light. As if it's speaking to me.
Later I also learned a 3rd symbol. In the Kirkland dedication prayer Joseph stated the Gentiles were "identified with the latter-day saints". It's something I had never considered before.
I ran into a book by Bruce R McConkie called the Millilenial Messiah. Here he also taught the Gentiles were the members as he analyzed 2 Nephi 28 (LE) but did not apply to the leaders. Goes back to the idea God will fix anything if it's broken. But as I studied and prayed I came to the conclusion that BOM was correct. Per verse 14, 28. "they have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led, that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men...others will he[the devil] pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell".
Isaiah states similar ideas in Chapter 28 and 56 (LE).
In LE 3 Nephi 16 it states "when the Gentiles shall sin against my gospel, and shall reject the fulness of my gospel,". Not if but when the Gentiles reject the fulness. It's up to us to determine what that means and how as it also states that God will offer his hand a "second time" unto them.
My Spiritual Journey: My Awakening: A New Hope
Eventually I came to the writings of Denver Snuffer. As I read his blog he taught things that I had never seen anyone before teach. Things God had shown to me but than also expanded upon them further expanding my mind and enlarging my soul.
I was persuaded after many months that what he taught was from God. Nevertheless the man was unimportant only the message. His 40 years in Mormonism lectures was given to us by God like he claims. The only way to know if something is true is to measure the message or the content. Which we can study and measure against the Book of Mormon. Also there was a book titled Come Let Us Adore Him that had a big impact as he recites his vision of Christ in Gethsemane and what that entailed. (TC 161)
Other revelations were given including the most profound one in my journey. The Testimony of St John (TC Testimony of St. John) telling the life of Christ. It speaks in plain words and includes things that have not been openly revealed.
And finally a talk on Heavenly Mother. Things that have been hidden away for dispensations God saw fit to restore in preparation for the coming days. As God works backwards, back to the beginning, even as the days of Adam shall be had again in the End, that includes restoring the knowledge that the Father's had at the beginning so that our hearts can be turned to them.
My Spiritual Journey: My Awakening: A New Dispensation
There is enough written here on other blogs or my own so not getting into further details so I'll just summarize the coming events as things as I consider them to not distract further on my spiritual journey.
The first sign, to me at least, of apostasy is organized religion. When God speaks collectively to a people He wishes them to become as part of His family. He always speaks individually and individual redemption is always available just not Zion, the family of God.
God has given many signs that the dispensation through Joseph was abandoned. He also gave others showing a new dispensation is being offered right here and now.
Anytime a new dispensation is offered rebaptism is required to accept it as a witness before God. I resigned from LDS church around March 2014 (Letter of Beliefs - Brief Answer to Why) . On December 24, 2014 I was re-baptized by one having authority "in living water" (like a stream, river, or lake) . Not into any church. For if you see one you'll know the people failed. In September 2017 God offered his hand a "second time" and renewed, first with the Gentiles, a covenant to make them His people. (See prayer and answer TC 156,157, 158). I felt led to receive it a year later, due to being invited to wait to focus on family. Now today offer is going to the "house of Israel".
My Spiritual Journey: Conclusion
My Journey has been amazing. I have by my experience, tasted of the fruits of this journey. I know them to be good. That is not to say there have been many growing pains as the lord gives people opportunities to progress and become like Him. Or that this people will rise up nevertheless the fruits by God are there. Or that I'm still perfectly on the path but I'm trying to face Him.
I want to add. My biggest realization about the gospel is that everything is based on the Family. Many will forgo the family in response to other activities called upon them by their churches but I found that everything Christ did was for his Family. Yes all that are saved become his sons and daughters. But one of the revelations revealed in our day clarifies it this way using my own words. No male person can exercise priesthood outside their homes unless the wife sustains him. This places the man to set his own house in order before ever working to labor while neglecting his duties. Still all are still called upon to labor in the vineyard.
The newly published scriptures done by a group led to do so (scriptures.info) are one of the signs, which I have posted about elsewhere on blog, and witness to me what God is offering and that a people are willing to repent and remember the revelations given to us through Joseph Smith that have been long abandoned by all offshoots. Like the Book of Mormon, we can read and study the revelations and measure it for ourselves.
I'm just so grateful for what I have learned on this journey and hope it will be used to make me "added upon". I only seek to serve God. Though often I feel like an idled servant.
My Spiritual Journey: The End
The Lord is preparing to return in Glory. As the New Covenants (new testament) Foreward states "These scriptures are a sign foretold by Christ to stand as a witness of His gospel to all the world and that the moment has arrived when the things that have been prophesied of in scripture will now occur within a single generation."
I hope I live long enough to be able to see some of these prophecies fulfilled. I know not what the Lord has in store for me. In some ways I'm terrified in others there is hope.
